Saturday, June 28, 2008

Don't Cling. Let Go.. Float...

("..anybody knows you can conjure anything by the dark of the moon" -Tori Amos, 'Suede')


When one chapter of your life ends- ...Mourn.

When someone you trust Disappoints you- ...Mourn.

When the person you love misinterprets everything you've said- ...Mourn.

When loneliness creeps up on your skin- ...Mourn.

When you can't let out, when you won't let in- ...Mourn.

Mourn every little death that comes thru you and your door

Surrender to It, so it won't Haunt you Anymore. ...Mourn.

Don't fight sorrow. That sadness and or tears
-that 'blues'-
is washing you away
to another Shore.

Grieve. Let yourself indulge in the bliss of everything you think you'll/you've miss/missed.

Endings are important. Every Death carries a Gift.

If you don't mourn these little dyings, what will fertilize your new growth???

So Mourn....

Because Grief can linger, and wedge itself
into the corners of your life.
The lines and curves and fringes of your body.

Can cover you like an invisible cloak,
made of Thistle and Thorn

..that'll never keep you warm.
So Mourn...

But don't linger...

Die for dying's sake
But also Die for Birth...

Don't Cling.

Let Go..


(in the Floating, release yourself into the Bliss of All. Allow and Receive All's Nurturing and Love.
Then Surround Your Self in a shimmering light blue/white blue light. Then fill your self up with Rose Gold light. Be still. Let the Bridge appear of it's own accord. Step on to it. Cross it. Born.)

Don't Cling.

Let Go..


-(c) Ayanna H., 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I Sing the Body Electric

Magic is Real. As real as you are. And me. And no, I'm not talking about that magic(which, too, is also very real).

The Magic of the Everyday. Of Breath, and Wind, and Fire.

The Magic that is the Body as well.

For me, personally, the body is the Key that unlocks the Door.
I'm not looking to transcend my body. I'm looking to move further and further into it. To meld with it. For me, this is Magic.

That Blood Courses through my veins, with no conscious thought of it. That as I sleep, I continue to Breathe. That I wake up, each morning, still here. Breathing. Alive. And that these acts aren't things that I even have a general thought about having to do. This, to me, is deep, deep Magic.

My body has it's own wisdom that seems entirely separate from my conscious brain. My conscious mind.

I've learned over the years, as I've become wholer and wholer, that my body-and listening to it- is the Key. My Unihipili. The One Who Holds Memories and Instincts.

I'm not talking about the part of the body that holds traumatic memories. Fears. Angst.

But that Deeper part that takes the step, walks forward. Turns the right corners. Reaches out to the right people. Bumps in to the appropriate 'strangers'. Gets on that airplane, despite my anxious aversions to flight.

Conversely, it's also the same Deeper knowing body that recoils from dangerous people. That tries to save you from some of your stupider mistakes. That delays you from getting on the wrong train, the wrong bus. That keeps you from Harms Way.


And what of the seeds and the stars? That I plant this tiny, tiny hard thing into soil. Add water, place it in sunshine, and some inner force, some inner fire (all five elements, if you look, are present here) compels it to grow. To 'germinate'. Crack it's shell. Push up. Up. Through the soil, towards the light.
And me being a Gardener, understanding the Science of it, doesn't take away even one iota that this is a Miracle. That Magic has occurred(and is occurring), every time something grows. ...or 'dies' (transforms).

For me, true Science, and true Magic are One. They enhance one another, not negate each other. They are In Love. Two sides to the same language, that creates the Third, and makes up the Alchemical Dance.

Knowing how and why air pumps through our lungs, blood flows through our veins, makes it more magical to me that it happens at all. Not less.

* * *
I was very lucky as a child in many ways. Where I went to school -elementary through high- I had some amazing teachers, that cultivated the arts in me(both big and little 'A'). I fell in love with Shakespeare and drama, via my junior high school English teacher, Mr. Keningston. Who also taught us poetry via Phil Ochs lyrics(!). I was introduced to Kate Bush via our substitute band teacher-also in junior high- who simply went by the name of 'Les'. Boy, was Les Cool.

And the songs we sang in elementary school and junior high were radical! Radical in their romance. Their Optimism. Their Hope. A lot of which, apparently, I would never have learned, had it not been for the great Pete Seeger.

I leave you now, with a song that popped into my head as I was watching my favorite movie late Saturday afternoon(the movie which inspired this post). 'I Sing the Body Electric', from the movie(and television show) Fame. Which incidentally is also the title to a rather famous poem by Uncle Walt(Whitman, that is). Who, I am only now in the past few months really exploring the amazing Poetry of. And I wonder if the person who wrote the song, named it after Uncle Walt's poem, as he too was an extreme and supreme Exalter and Lover of the Body(and all her/his Wisdom) as Magic.

Remember to Keep your Awe. Keep your Wonder. Keep Your Magic.

- (c) Ayanna H.

I sing the body electric
I celebrate the me yet to come

I toast to my own reunion
When I become one with the sun

And I'll look back on Venus

I'll look back on Mars

And I'll burn with the fire
of ten million stars

And in time

And in time

We will all be stars

I sing the body electric
I glory in the glow of rebirth

Creating my own tomorrow
When I shall embody the earth

And I'll serenade Venus
I'll serenade Mars

And I'll burn with the fire
of ten million stars

And in time
And in time
We will all be stars

We are the emperors now

And we are the czars

And in time

And in time

We will all be stars

And I'll serenade Venus
I'll serenade Mars

And I'll burn with the fire
of ten million stars

And in time

And in time

We will all be stars

(anyone know for sure who penned these lovely lyrics? Saw 3 different possibilities when I googled it. Thanks :-)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Chin Up!

We are currently experiencing one of the most trying Mercury in retrograde to come down the road in quite a long time.

This merc in retrograde is taking place in Gemini. It's ruling sign. Hence the even worse then usual communication crapola. Super effecting all air signs as well as analytical types of people(Scorpios, Virgos, etc.).

All this while Neptune has also gone retro. Neptune in general having to do with deep, *deep* foundational emotions. As well as illusions on an emotional level.

So combine that emotional confusion of what's real and what's not in terms of feelings and behavior- with communication breakdowns and massive wire crossings...It's been a bit of a mess really. Lots and *lots* of 'in' fighting amongst close friends and connections.

We can use it, be aware of it, avoid it, and when possible turn it into something else all together useful.

But it still sucks ass when your in the midst of it...

Needless to say, Merc in retro is usually very Lucky for me. And when it's difficult I look at it like this-
-through the annoying complete breakdown of communication in all it's forms, and regression to things here-to-forth thought resolved, that
'Ole Winged Foot Messenger gives you a three week crash course in
'Deep Issue Resolvement'

The problem is, this accelerated 'learning'/'growth' period feels exactly akin to 'Holy Shit, Everything Deemed Important Is Hitting The Fan'

Try to stay positive by reminding your self that mercury *is* in retrograde. ..As opposed to everyone and everything just being sucky and nuts. Keep perspective on all that

Though a vacation in a Cave til June 19th does sound Right... :-)

"Maybe MIR is a good thing for me. Still can't wait till it is over though."

Yeah. That's the general sentiment. ;-)

It'll all make Healthy and Harmonious sense in the long run, but right now all this dust kicked up is just getting in your eyes...

Coping tips for this Mercury/Neptune in Retrograde:

Vis a vis Merc in retrograde. Yes. It is absolutely possible to re channel the energy. And to focus and Expand on positivity. The hardest part this time around is more the where it's retro and the messyness of Neptune retro being combined.

Just requires a little more focus. :-)

In a nutshell:

-Focus on what you DO want. No matter how disparaging things seem right now, know that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, and that all this shite going down, is the Universe CLEARING THE WAY FOR SOMETHING FANTASTIC TO COME INTO OUR LIVES


-Have Utter KNOWING in your heart of heart that EVERYBODY Loves You :-)

-Spend more time with people that are committed to the above. There is energetic Power in numbers in general, and especially at this time

-Outside of a bi-daily(morning and night)Gratitude list, ALSO take the time to write down ways in which YOU ROCK. Celebrate how much YOU ROCK. And all around CONTINUE TO ROCK :-D WooHoo!!!

-And ABOVE ALL ELSE *REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE*. Maybe not in what happened. But in how it will continue to un fold.

I Choose Happiness :-)

-(c) Ayanna H.